Many psychologists call them “energy vampires.” Oh yes, BEWARE. We have all at one point in our lives been surrounded by persons or people who are forever dissatisfied, painfully negative, love talking (for lack of a better word) utter crap about everyone and everything they know exist. Energy vampires not only leave you feeling irritated and mentally exhausted, but they can also make you physically ill – whether or not you believe the many existing “human thought has physical power” theories or simply through the stress they surround you with and subsequently its giant database of health related consequences. This may seem extreme; however I believe that these soul suckers should be treated as seriously or even more seriously as you would any physical ailment or virus. After all, your mind IS [a part of] your body.

I had a difficult time recently dealing with negative people to the point where I was constantly angry and getting 1-2 hours of sleep per night. When I knew enough was enough, I went to my teachers for advice, yoga for advice, and to psychologists for advice. I experimented with different possible solutions, attempting to pin point what was most effective - here’s what I ended up with:

1) IDENTIFY:The first thing you need to do is recognize one when you meet one. Do not get sucked into their black hole yourself – negative energy is dangerously contagious and can have you thinking or saying negative things that you otherwise would never. Regular yoga practice heightens your senses and will help you notice subtle energies in social environments – including negative ones.

2) EVADE: As an advocate for upstream, preventative health care, I am all for evasion if possible. Act disinterested in being associated with them and eventually they will stop coming your way. I do not find this to be pretentious and you shouldn’t either – you should have the freedom to choose the people you want in your life. However, if the vampire is a coworker, family member or for another reason cannot be avoided… read on.

3) DISSOCIATE: The concept of dissociation in pyschotherapy is similar to Pure Awareness in yogic teaching. The idea is to allow a third person mentally come out of your body and watch the situation from that perspective - this immediately rids your mind of any emotion attachment and puts you above the situation rather than in it. Placing you back into power, you can confidently and clearly take the next step. 

4) CONFRONT: Tell the person upfront that their negative tendencies are mentally draining you. Confrontation can go either way, however even if they do fire back with loose cannons, confrontation is absolutely necessary. I have found that if you give it some time, allowing the person’s initial defensive reaction cool down, they will eventually be willing to reason with you.

5) REACT: You are not their pyschotherapist and it is not your duty to reverse their negative samskaras (engrained thought processes/ cycles). Instead of trying to change who they are, change how you yourself react to them. Do not feed their complains with further complaints, sympathies, or spiteful words. Instead, act disinterested and change the topic stat. Do not look them in the eyes when they speak. Eventually it will become boring to complain or gossip to you, and they will choose someone else to drain.

6) SPIRITUAL SHIELDS: This helpful meditation consists of taking either a comfortable seated position with palms rested on your knees, facing up, or standing in mountain pose. Breathing ujjayi through your nose, focusing on every breath cycle while imagining a shield of light surrounding you. Afterwards, when you are going about your day, bring this shield with you and don't allow any negative energy one may bring cross it. Picture their words bouncing off of it and hum a pleasant tune (such as Monty Python ones - thanks Asia for this one) in your head while they go about their trivial rants.

So there you have it! Always remember that you are allowed to love life and live in its bright side - don't let anyone take that away from you.

Deepest love,
Kimmi